Growing up is hard to do!

Growing up is hard enough without parents making mistakes hindering that growth. I love my kids and would never intentionally do that. But I have been made aware that in some cases, I was doing just that.

Emmalyn is going through the "I want only Mommy" phase. Where she would once go happily to Grandma and Dane, and now is hesitant. Lately, she required time to warm up. So as to not upset Emmalyn I would let her do just that. But the time it took to warm up was becoming longer and longer.

One morning I had just woken up with Emma and needed to pee. I had carried her downstairs and asked Dane to take her so I could go to the bathroom. As I went to hand her over, she clanged to me and whined. Dane insisted she'd be fine, but I didn't want her to cry for me while gone so I took her with me. At that moment while sitting on my throne with Emma on my lap I realized what I was doing. I was damaging the relationship she had with her father. The same relationship where she would gladly go to daddy every Saturday morning, to let mommy get some much need sleep in time with Sam. Dane's a great father! He knows how to make our kids comfortable and happy. In fact, he's the clown in our house bringing seriousness down a notch, helping us all to see the see the bright side of life! He's quickly fixed the gap between him and Emma, I just needed to let it happen.

Next, I'd like to share some insight Maddy gave me. One night while getting Sam and Emma ready for bed with me (yes they still bed share my bed), she asked me when I was going to get them sleeping in their own beds. Advising me (yes my 10yr old) that they would never be able to get to sleep on their own if they didn't learn soon. Those of you who know what she is going through now, know how much meaning that statement meant!

HMM.. any thoughts on how to get Sam and Emmalyn to start comforting themselves without my hair. I really hate the hair pulling! OUCH. Yes, it's loving to put your kids' needs above your own, but I believe it's blinded love to not differentiate between wants and needs. What they need is to be able to comfort their selves with out mommy, I can't always be there.

Thank You Trish!

I think it's important to let people know when they've inspired someone along their path! Blogging, is something that I've always loved! But because I never had much direction on how to blog, or what blogging meant to me, I only added pictures from time to time. Those that know me, know how much I have to say about things. I don't plan on blogging with the intent to push my personal beliefs on others, debate, or post things which have no meaning in my life. No, I plan to blog only for myself. To be able to look back and not only see the pictures I posted, but also the thoughts behind them. Along with digital scrap-booking, blogging gives me the visual creativity that I don't yet posses

So big thanks!

lifeastheirmom.blogspot

monstersandtutus.wordpress

Experiences Make Me Me

I've always felt the need to be understood and accepted. I've always sought out advice when I felt lost.

But how could I expect anyone to understand what I've been through and then try to give good advice.

They haven't' walked in my shoes, haven't seen what I've seen, heard what I've heard, not felt what I've felt.

Experience

My experiences make me who I am. Only the Father knows what's in my my heart. God is the only one who knows what path will bring me peace. If that is in fact his will. Heaven is our only promised peace.

I now understand why it is so difficult for us all to come together on philosophies. Why people are divided in our world, our country, communities even our faiths.

However I am now more at peace knowing God is in control.

I've learned to still seek advice and comfort when I feel lost. But stop and review what I know in my heart and use the advice or comfort only if it aligns to the teaching in the Bible.

 - unknown

*Feeling Blessed

My new shirt!

Gotta love Facebook advertising. But I couldn't pass this one by! This shirt is so soft and snugly. Too bad I didn't order this in winter!

The light of Jesus reaching out to me through others

The past week has been a very enlightening time for me. I've discovered many things about myself both good and bad. And am now learning new ways to be a better mother, wife, and Christian, all the while staying happy with my choices. I've taken the past few days to let this all sink in. I put off the usual cleaning besides dishes and laundry, to organize parts of my house that collected clutter. It felt so good to purge the things that didn't have meaning or use to us. While physically purging, I was also doing the same in my mind. Of course life didn't stop for me to do this! I had to from time to time stop and be just be present with my kids and husband.

A big thanks to all people who helped me come to this crossroads in life. You may not know who you are, but chances are if you came in contact with me, you were apart of my growth. It just goes to show, you never know what actions or words both good and bad will affect another person. 

Mathew 5: 14-15

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Frozen

Meet my favorite character Olaf. 

"Hi, I'm Olaf I like Warm Hugs"

"Some people are worth melting over."

"Love is putting someone else's needs before yours."

Sister love!

"The skys awake... so I'm awake...so we have to PLAY!"

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Was sad to see what happens when you're not being true to yourself

"Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know"

Queen Elsa learning to be herself in the song 

"Let it go"

"Time to see what can do. To test the limits and break through. No right, or wrong, no rules for me, I'm FREE!"

She's accepted herself, yet is alone. Next fear creates a winter storm.

Hope

""Oh, I don't know why but I always loved the idea of summer and sun and all things hot!"

Queen Elsa learned that love conquerors all. And that she didn't have to sacrifice her true self in order to be the person she was intended to be! 

How could you change your fears if you felt perfectly loved? 

Meant for only one

Never again!

Say it loud, say it proud....I AM AN INTROVERT!!!

://themattwalshblog.com/2014/03/24/to-the-quiet-boring-girl-in-class/

Click the link above to understand my thoughts on this post. A post written by an introvert who learned to accept his shyness as a gift, not a curse.

That blog post I read last night highlighted what I already know about myself. But has also revealed to me how to feel better about myself as well. I need to stop trying to be someone I'm not! I need to own who I am in every sense. And live my life the way I know will make me happy.

For instance, I've always been anxious in certain social settings. Often I say or do things that I haven't put a lot of thought into, because I haven't taken the time to let my brain work through it. I have an amazing brain, one that is always churning with thoughts and ideas. Unfortunately, lately, I've been filling it with a lot of social nonsense, when instead I could be doing and thinking about things I love.

I love to read.

I love to write.

I love life art in photography.

I love to sing.

I love watching movies.

I love photography.

It's okay that I don't like the same things others do. I will use my brain to pour my heart into the things I love, and life will be more enjoyable. 

I'll pass this wisdom to my kids. I've always told my kids to be themselves but had not been modeling that. As my kids grow and find their own way in this world, I'll be there to advise them. Tell them that whether they are an introvert or an extrovert, they need to always be true to themselves. And also to respect everyone else for who they are too! 

As a child, I watched my mom (an introvert) always trying to please everyone around her, and I know the power of parents to influence who their children ultimately may become.

This journey through life will be a lot easier if I remember Jesus walking beside me. He made me in his image! He is perfect, I am not. The Bible and the Holy Spirit have spoken to me.

Mathew 4: 1-11

The great spirit led Jesus on a vision quest in the wilderness where he met the devil. After forty days and nights without food, Jesus was starving.

The devil said, “If you’re God’s child, turn these stones into bread.”

Jesus said, “Scripture says it takes more than bread to really live. To live takes doing what God says.”

Then the devil took him to Jerusalem, to the pinnacle of the temple, and said, “If you’re God’s child, jump. Scripture says God will send an angel to catch you before you hit the pavement.”

Jesus said, “Scripture says not to trifle God with your stupidity.”

Then the devil took him to the top of a mountain and showed him all the world’s empires, and said, “These are all yours if you sign on with me.”

Jesus said, “Get out of here, Satan. Scripture says the only thing worth doing is what God calls you to do.

At first, I thought this was just a verse to show the need to resist temptation. And it is! But in all sense of the word. The revelation I came away with, is I need to be true to myself. Jesus was not the next passing through pastor/priest (whatever those guys were back then). No, this verse said to me he had to stay true to himself and complete the task he came here to achieve. Dying for our sins and saving our souls. So I too will be true to myself! I feel this next chapter of my life will be more serene.

Funny side note.. now maybe all who know me will understand why I lose and miss place things all the time. I'm not just a busy mom! My head is just filled with too many other things to remember pesky little things like keys!

My path in life with Jesus by my side

This was the bible verse that was discussed at my first bible study. 

Psalms 1-41

1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. 5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

I was at first I was confused by this verse. Jesus went out into the world to minister. He surrounded himself with sinners (prostitutes tax collectors,murders), to teach them God's word. Aren't we saposed to do the same? 

But then the conversation amongst us evolved. They interpreted the verse as such..  You must be rooted in the word, so not to be turned to the "DARK SIDE!" 

Reading the bible daily is now something I am making a priority! I've heard it takes 2 weeks to make something stick. I read the bible from time to time. But now I'm going make it happen every day for the next 2 weeks, and they hopefully for ever! 

Mornings with Emmalyn

My day starts with this little one twirling my hair around her tiny fingers. I open my eyes to darkness once again! Why does this child have to wake before the chickens? I wish I could say I welcome this and love waking up to my sweet Emma. But regret sets in that I stayed up late to savior some adult time! The hair twirling does not feel blissful. No, it hurts! 

I know from experience that there is no way I can get her back to sleep. Staying in bed will only result in more hair knots. With my other kids at this age, I felt more accomplished! I had taught them to appreciate the moment, fall back asleep, and keep their dreams alive! It's not working with this kid! So I take a deep breath because I've resigned...I HAVE TO GET UP!

Keep in mind the little one to my right is still fast asleep! Therefore, I "ninja" out of bed. I can only imagine how funny this must look. But trust me, he needs to stay asleep! Sam always needs more sleep...his mood depends on it.

Coffee is now my new best friend. I recently discovered how much impact it has on the start of my day. It gives me something to look forward to and makes that trip downstairs seem tolerable. "COFFEE MUST HAVE COFFEE!" I'm sure I must look like a zombie. Picture it...hair all knotted, no makeup, and I walk funny (my body contorted all night because I've been "sandwiched" between two growing kids).

So, coffee in hand and juice in Emma's, we head to the couch for snuggles and "Sponge-Bob." I love my alone time with my last little one! And with the hustle and bustle of busy life, it's nice to be still and enjoy her littleness. 

Yes, waking up sucks big time! But once the snuggles begin, I'm glad we're up. Later, Sam will venture downstairs and join us on the couch. I'll then have snuggles and hair twirling from both of my littles!

Now, if I could get them interested in Grey's Anatomy!

Blog to go private or not???

I know from my my stat page that not many people read this blog, I'm just not that exciting :) So I don't trouble my mind in worrying what the world sees. However, lately I realize that I not only post pictures and posts about me, I also occasionally include other family members and friends. So I went back and forth over if I should restrict my blog to only family and friends. My decision on this did not come lightly but as of now I'm leaving it public. I know of some that read my blog, however don't post comments because they don't have an account. These people who have said they really enjoy my blog would be restricted. However, if you are a apart of my life and do not wish to mentioned in postings let me know. Shoot me a quick email, and I'll respect that! Hope this makes everyone happy. I always try to be mindful of other peoples feelings and points of view!


*Sorry kids your hand won't be counted :) But I'll try not to embarrass you too much I always try to think of your feelings too!  Besides you guys never read mommy's blog anyways. Someday however you will and thank me!

I love blogging, it's a hobby along with scrap-booking that I don't get a chance to do very often. Blogging allows me to share my life and thoughts. Writing has always been a passion of mine! I decided long ago not to let my reading/writing disorder get in the way of my love for writing. It may take more effort, but if you love something as much as I love writing, you work through the difficult parts.

I am so blessed to be apart of this family

These pictures were taken from Emmalyn's 2nd Birthday. It was not only a beautiful day, but a day that showed me how much this family really means to me!

We all love each other! 

Even the crazy Uncle Dane! 

Traditions are held and passed down to the next generation.

Janice pours her heart into everything she makes for us. Sunday dinners, birthday cakes, picture albums...She does not know the meaning of halfway!

Aunts and uncles are like second parents.

Cousins are good friends.

Wayne also goes above and beyond! Is loved, respected, and held in very high regard to all who know him.

 

We worry about each other!

And take care of each other when they get hurt or are in need!

We play, 

 play,

and play some more!

We stick up for each other!

 

Wenzel Mountain is an escape for us all! It's magical to have a castle, trail, playhouse, trampoline, electric play cars, and a beautiful view of this land God created!

And ALL are welcome to come, and feel the magic too! Except for the off-season, which is held sacred for just our

First hair cut

No more top knot. This 2 yr old has bangs! Feeling both sad, and excited. I've always had a hard time seeing my kids mature from one stage in life to the next. But they can't stay babies, toddler, kids, pre-teens for ever.Yikes my next adventure is TEENAGERS!! 

Will this family ever name me?

I guess my name is kitty, no calls by any other name. See what I have to go through every morning.......

I jump up on the couch to get mom's attention (she always forgets to feed me). Then this kid sees me.

Why does she always squeeze me? I don't need the Heimlich maneuver every morning!

If I'm patient she'll space out watching her SpongeBob cartoon. And if I'm really careful, I can sneak away!

 Not this morning. Rats, she caught me again. Mom HEEELP ME!! 

Seaside Basketball Tournament

Everyone had fun at the beach except M* who was sick with the stomach flu.