First time at camp!

I made it to camp, and got WAY outside my comfort zone! 

My cabin "Joy"

My sisters! 

Amazing food! 

Made lots of new friends! 

Breathed in God's beautiful creation! 

Beautiful day at Sisterhood!

Fell in love with this little guy! 

My sisters!

What a busy day! After a crappy night of losing our puppy, I visited Mom at the hospital. Then I raced back home with the things MY family needed. But, since it was on the way, I stopped by the dealership Gauge Auto Sales, and asked the boys for donations. They are always so generous! I didn't plan on staying the entire 3 1/2 hours, but it was the fresh air my soul needed!

This meeting theme-

 FREEDOM! 

My "Brandy" rose I brought for a fellow sister. 

God's rays are shining down!

Rainbow after purchasing this book!

A birthday gift for my father-in-law & recommended by Pastor Kasting. I previewed, and look forward to trying out this new trilogy. 

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6150.Cry_the_Beloved_Country

Sisterhood

 My sisters and I from the Mannahouse! A lovely day to celebrate St. Valentine!!!

Finn socializing some more

"I'm sorry Emma!"

    Hanging out at Grandma's eye appointment. The same day he and Emma broke her glasses, it was a busy day of driving for this tired mama! I wish gas prices were lower!!!

On today's adjenda..

Do stuff, do more stuff, and finish the day with everyone happy. Is it possible? We shall see. I've got an amazing husband, children, family, and friends!

 Glad I can finally have coffee again!!!

Our next family member! I hope!!

 

God's perfect plan. We met this little boy last night. The lady who met with us said that she was once assaulted while showing her puppies, so she now meets in public places. What is wrong with people these days? Back to happy thoughts...Seeing her smile again, that's what everyone's looking forward to!!!

Just Be...

Move forward one step at a time.

Don't think back to past memories.

They'll make you smile or make you cry.

Look around and just be.

Just be here in His presence.

Think about all the people you love...cherish them.

Think about all the people you loathe...pray for them.

Move forward one step at a time.

Don't look back at the hill you've just walked.

Don't look ahead at the mountain you've yet to climb.

Look around and just be.

Just be here in His presence.

Look around at all that's beautiful...be thankful.

Look around at all that's ugly...fix it.

Move forward one step at a time.

Feelings from the past contradict happy and sad.

Feelings in the future look bright but may disappoint. 

Look around and just be.

Enjoy this moment here and now!

Just be here with the One that made all of YOU!

Just be here with the One that wants all of YOU!

Just be here with the One that loves all of YOU!

Your Father, your King, your Savior... Jesus Christ!

When you're weak and look to the past or future,

Just call on Him to help you... Just be.

- Brandalyn Wenzel 

Remind me who I am

Jason Gray - Remind Me Who I Am Lyrics

Artist: Jason Gray

Album: A Way To See In The Dark

Genre: Rock

When I lose my way,

And I forget my name
Remind me who I am
In the mirror all I see
Is who I don't wanna be
Remind me who I am

In the loneliest places
When I cant remember what grace is

Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home
Remind me who I am
When I cant receive Your love
Afraid I'll never be enough
Remind me who I am

If I'm Your beloved can You help me believe it

Tell me, once again
Who I am to you, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to you, that I belong to You
To You

I'm the one You love, I'm the one You love
That will be enough, I'm the one You love

Tell me, once again
Who I am to you, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to you, that I belong to You

Tell me, once again
Who I am to You, who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to You, that I belong to You
To You

To You

Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/jason-gray/remind-me-who-i-am-lyrics/#uOxIpDR5ML5qPk03.99

My dad... (draft)

Everyone knows my dad at a difference glance within the kaleidoscope.  I hope to hear more of who my dads was here today. 

For me, I don't remember much before I was 10. Just bits and pieces before he and my moms divorce. I think I blocked it all out considering the hurt at the time. The next 10 years I spent with my mom and step father. Summers I would come to visit. We always made the trip to Dland and my beloved In-N-Out Burger. He'd always complain I ate him out of house and home... duh I was a teenager. And Sash would always take me under her wing to hang out and  just chill. 

When my oldest was born I was so proud to introduce his first grandson. I took video of him and Christian in our living room practicing on how to crawl. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday! 

(find this video/pics)

Again, 2 years later he was here to watch Maddy crawl for the first time. 

(ditto)

The most common memory is the greeting at the airport.. and the saying goodbye at the airport. Which honestly makes me the most sad. I know you're supposed to be upbeat about someones life. But what about telling everyone you care about TODAY you matter to me all the time!!!

Feelings at Dads funeral. (draft still working on it)

 I haven't posted since my dads death. I often do this on my blog... retreat, post then retreat again. It's my decision I don't have to write, no one expects me to. Yet.. it pulls me back. I feel a pull to write This pull doesn't connect me to others as I don't allow comments. It's more of a pull to write in a space that others and experience and feel what they feel. I often look back at old family videos and feel an intense love! But those same videos won't feel a inch of love from those who don't have connection to us. BECAUSE we're all becoming disconnected,,  more so now then ever. 

Christian the graduate... created in Canva!

 

Emma's first choir recital!

Emma started a new school this year. I am so thankful to my parents who are graciously funding her new Christian school!

Healing

I enjoy blogging yet every time I came to this place I would see my dad's funeral announcement and get stuck. Grief comes in waves that's for sure! But I know my dad wants me to continue this love of mine so I'm doing just that. I miss you dad, we'll be together once again with every tear wiped from our eyes! 

Jenn's published works! So proud!!!

 

Jennifer Usselman uses raw honesty, humor, personal story and scripture to invite us on a journey to days lived with more love, joy, peace and the many gifts God offers us if we choose to sit with Him and learn the way to a better life, indeed the very best possible. Don't miss out. Let's lace up our walking shoes and put one foot and one choice in front of the other to a place called Better! An excerpt from Choosing to Choose Better: "I love choices. Don’t you? I choose chocolate instead of vanilla, smooth over prickly, salty over sweet—no, actually I choose both of those twisted together! Choices are wonderful and somewhat mindless when we’re talking about flavors or textures we prefer or styles of clothing and artwork. However, the choosing I would like to talk to you about is a kind that comes unnaturally. It is the intentional act of stopping before acting so you don’t inflict hurt on yourself or others.... Have you ever felt like me? Dried out and hollow? Like you’re ruining the life you have been given? I promise that if you trust God and His will for your life found in His Word, you will start to become new and transform in ways you cannot fathom. This is an invitation to all who feel deep down, or even at a surface level, that there is hope in real change and that if we want more connection, calm, and love in our lives it is indeed attainable, if only we choose to choose better. We are paused at the road’s fork. Are you ready to do the unnatural? Trust me: this will only hurt a little…"Don't put off living your best life even one more day, let's do this!

I miss my yesterdays!

I stumbled upon this poem that I haven't read for years. So I put this picture behind my written words. God is once again telling me to enjoy this time I'm in right NOW.

Train ticket when you need it

Jesus stopped by today, he knew what I needed. Someone in the flesh to remind me he is in control, he's got this! This mountain I am climbing is not too tall for Him to walk beside, encourage, or carry me. And that I can always trust that He loves me and will see me through this time. What the other side of this mountain/tunnel looks like might not be what I envisioned, but for God's glory.  My pastor showed me Jesus' light will be there at my front door stop like today, and every day I need him! I just have to open my eyes to all the many people he has blessed me with!

Sharing this story of Corrie Ten Boom, a Holocaust survivor, was just the thing I needed. Thank you past K*, I am so thankful for your love of Christ, and his people!

All of God's people say... AMEN!

Shout out to all of God's people, WE ARE BROKEN!

We are all broken! God will not love you more for what you have done today, God will not love you less for what you have done today. Today, the past, or the future, God loves you to to the moon and back! Silly little Nuttbrown hair, your Father will always love you more!