Sunday, March 27, 2022
Spoiled Carly Marie
Wednesday, December 1, 2021
My dad... (draft)
Everyone knows my dad at a difference glance within the kaleidoscope. I hope to hear more of who my dads was here today.
For me, I don't remember much before I was 10. Just bits and pieces before he and my moms divorce. I think I blocked it all out considering the hurt at the time. The next 10 years I spent with my mom and step father. Summers I would come to visit. We always made the trip to Dland and my beloved In-N-Out Burger. He'd always complain I ate him out of house and home... duh I was a teenager. And Sash would always take me under her wing to hang out and just chill.
When my oldest was born I was so proud to introduce his first grandson. I took video of him and Christian in our living room practicing on how to crawl. I remember that feeling like it was yesterday!
(find this video/pics)
Again, 2 years later he was here to watch Maddy crawl for the first time.
(ditto)
The most common memory is the greeting at the airport.. and the saying goodbye at the airport. Which honestly makes me the most sad. I know you're supposed to be upbeat about someones life. But what about telling everyone you care about TODAY you matter to me all the time!!!
Saturday, November 27, 2021
Feelings at Dads funeral. (draft still working on it)
I haven't posted since my dads death. I often do this on my blog... retreat, post then retreat again. It's my decision I don't have to write, no one expects me to. Yet.. it pulls me back. I feel a pull to write This pull doesn't connect me to others as I don't allow comments. It's more of a pull to write in a space that others and experience and feel what they feel. I often look back at old family videos and feel an intense love! But those same videos won't feel a inch of love from those who don't have connection to us. BECAUSE we're all becoming disconnected,, more so now then ever.
Thursday, November 18, 2021
Emma's first choir recital!
Saturday, July 17, 2021
Healing Tears
My dad's funeral brought out a lot of tears. For me, I couldn't help but realize that we all felt a sense of not just coming together but a feeling of going back to memories present with him, experiencing the same time and space. Divorced family at the age of 10, memories are few, tainted w/ hate, jealousy, and hugs that didn't feel like much.
Celebration of life