Christian's off to Outdoor School

No phones allowed, those kids will be roughin' it!

Other side of the rainbow

Someone recently told me they'd looked around my blog and my Facebook page, and my life seemed so perfect. Don't worry it wasn't a stalker! Although I didn't confirm she wasn't a robot. ;)

At first I said.. HA, obviously you don't know me very well! But then I thought about it some more.  Even friends and extended family who know me quite well, don't know the same Brandy my family of 6 knows.

Those that look into what I've shown of my life on this blog and FB will only see what I've wanted and felt comfortable sharing. However, lately I've realized I no longer care about what others think of me. I want to post EVERYTHING that I'll want to remember about this life!

You've seen the beautiful pictures of "perfect" birthday parties, sunsets on the beach, my ever enduring love posts (insert gagging sound). Here's my post of the other side of my rainbow (as much as I'll disclose).

I'm sometimes ugly, gross, stupid, ill-tempered, neglectful, ..... SINFUL!


I'm sometimes UGLY... Especially when I'm mad!

I'm sometimes GROSS.. My kids like to point that out.. along with old, replaceable, and other immature things. :)

I'm sometimes STUPID.. aka forgetful, act/say things before I think, fail to consult calendars or Google on important things. Again, my kids love to point this trait out! Never argue with a teen.. they know EEVERRYTHINGG!

I'm sometimes ILL-TEMPERED.. which is a nice way of saying  B*tch!

I'm sometimes NEGLECTFUL... Come on, I'm only one person with 1 set of eyes, 1 set of hands.. and 5 family members! Those outside my family don't get much of my time. Sorry if I "forgot" to call you back! :)

I sometimes occasionally SIN!

Why disclose that? Because I care how others feel! I want others to know I am not perfect, and to not feel bad about their imperfect lives. We've all got our trials, lets lift up one another!

So to all those that read this.. I am human! Facebook and Blogging are all about sharing our lives with one another, and finding connections. Most people don't share the bad and the ugly. And for good reason, who wants to SHARE the bad and the ugly? Who wants to REMEMBER the bad and the ugly? 

I do! 

It's what makes me, me!

Co-sleeping vs Sleep Training

Taken from http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com/

LOVE this blog

Worst thing about co-sleeping...

Some nights end like this! Not very comfortable!

Worst thing about sleep training...

I don't feel like this at all...I miss being squished!

Making new friends!

Being a SAHM can be very lonely. Especially when you want to have an adult conversation or see a "grown up" movie. But making friends and keeping them requires time, my precious, precious time.

They want to "hang out"!??

NO we can't! The baby has to NAP!!! HE HAS TO NAP!!!

Time was not something I felt I had (heck I didn't even think I had time for a shower). But duh, those friends would have LOVED to come over and snuggle my babies while I took a shower! I had four of them I could have shared. ;)

So the few friends I had made at school and work went on the back burner. A back burner I didn't even keep warm.
I am blessed with an amazing extended family. But that was my only circle, and when faced with difficult times I realized how different we all were. So the years of neglecting old friends and not making new ones caught up to me. I felt very alone during a time I needed support and love. Family will always put family first, but that doesn't exactly mean we're BFFs.
Since I started my journey of reconnecting with old friends and making myself more available to new ones, I've been lifted up and have lifted up others. What an amazing feeling, it feels good to be there for others! We all have our trials and joys that we want to share with our FRIENDS.

Wordless Wednesday - Easter Prank

Night before Easter and all through the house....

Christian remembered this tradition from when he was Sams age!

Trail of bunny poop (jelly beans)

(yes there are only 3 baskets.. Maddy didn't want her's photoed)

Life isn't always "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows"

My blog consists of happy moments I want to remember. But my life isn't all....

 I WANT to remember and blog about some of life's trials. The trials that make us stronger and bring us closer as a family.
All 6 of us are who we are based on our DNA and our experiences. It's my job as a mom, and Danes' as head of this family, to model good for our kids. We both came into this relationship with good reasons for our hangups. But when it comes to our family we have to put those reasons aside. Fake it till you make it!

It tells me a lot when the hardest things to model are the very things that trouble my kids. Knowing this makes me try all the more.

Change

Dane and I have always resisted change. Now we're modeling to our children that when you HAVE to make a change, to look for the positive. I'm turning the dial around on my pessimist attitude. Anxiety has always plagued my kids. They're turning out to be worry worsts just like me! :(

Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Calm

This one I own all myself. I tend to get upset when things didn't go smoothly. But now I realize that when I stay relaxed about things, that sense carries over to the rest of the family. It amazed me to realize that my mood effects the whole family. So unless I want my bad mood times 5, I'd  better keep it to myself. This change is evolving rather easy for me. The happier my kids are the happier I am!!!

Perfectionism

Dane, Dane, Dane.. or so I thought. Until I spent time reflecting on myself and my parenting.

Sam helping me clean the bathroom one day -

"How's it look mom, I got the mirror all clean." He had a huge smile on his face, he was proud. Cringing, I saw lots of streaks across the mirror. "It looks great, but we've got to get those streaks out." I re-sprayed the entire mirror and cleaned it again, making sure to get the streaks out.
A week later I asked if he wanted to clean the mirror. "I can't get the streaks out like you." :(

So Dane is working on purposely showing the kids that sometimes it's "ok," to do things just "ok" . And I am learning to let the little things go, streaks and all!

There are many things that we as parents model for our kids. But these 3, need much, much, more attention! It'll make this family much happier and healthier. I will calmly wait for this change to come, and be content to love my kids for who they are... hangup and all!

Wordless Wednesday

Dyslexia Shmlexia

I was told in high school that I may be dyslexic. "Great," I thought, "I've got one more year left of school and NOW you tell me this." I've always had a love of creative writing, but from then on I'd put off writing. The few times that I have put words down, I've been embarrassed by how horrible my writing turns out. I want people to read what I've written and be amused, touched, informed, ect. Not frustrated because they can't understand my sentences. 

But I've had so many things I've wanted to say since starting my blog in 2008. So I've decided to stop posting only pictures to persevere my memories, and start adding my thoughts to go with them. Also, to start my quest in become a better writer. 

Here is what I've learned about my writing difficulties. 

Within the field of psycholinguistics, speech errors fall under the category of language production. Types of speech errors include: exchange errors, perseveration, anticipation, shift, substitution, blends, additions, and deletions. The study of speech errors contributes to the establishment/refinement of models of speech production.

Speech errors are made on an occasional basis by all speakers.^[1] They occur more often when speakers are nervous, tired, anxious or intoxicated.  - Wikipedia

Of course there is also the Sigmund Freudian's theory (Freudian slip), where one subconscious inserts the wrong word.

"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh... setbacks." -A Freudian slip by President George H.W. Bush

Back to my writing mistakes.. 

Deletion	Deletions or omissions leave some linguistic material out.[1]	Target: unanimity of opinion Error: unamity of opinion

Deletion is my biggest offender.

My best guess to why this occurs along with other writing mistakes, I believe is due to muscle memory. I learned to type very fast in my short career as a 911 dispatcher. In that position I was not afforded the time to proof read, luckily most words I typed were abv (abbreviated).

I can't say for others, but this explanation makes the most sense for me. Example:

I've had this affliction for a long time, possible due to the fact I type so fast and don't slow down to ensure the correct words are used.

"possible" versus "possibly" - They are spelled similar, thus easy to swap. 

The conclusion of my research.. I don't have dyslexia!

I just have to proofread, proofread, and proofread some more! And learn the basics of grammar and punctuation. Keep in mind readers, I went to 7 different schools! I missed a lot of instruction on the basics. Bare with me family, friends, fellow bloggers, my writing skills are improving. 

SAD

SAD

 (Seasonal affective disorder) is a type of depression that occurs at the same time every year. If you're like most people with seasonal affective disorder, your symptoms start in the fall and may continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody. 

Fall and winter seasonal affective disorder (winter depression)

Winter-onset seasonal affective disorder symptoms include:

Depression
Hopelessness
Anxiety
Loss of energy
Heavy, "leaden" feeling in the arms or legs
Social withdrawal
Oversleeping
Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed
Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates
Weight gain
Difficulty concentrating

Causes

The specific cause of seasonal affective disorder remains unknown. It's likely, as with many mental health conditions, that genetics, age and, perhaps most importantly, your body's natural chemical makeup all play a role in developing the condition. A few specific factors that may come into play include:

• Your biological clock (circadian rhythm). The reduced level of sunlight in fall and winter may disrupt your body's internal clock, which lets you know when you should sleep or be awake. This disruption of your circadian rhythm may lead to feelings of depression.
• Serotonin levels. A drop in serotonin, a brain chemical (neurotransmitter) that affects mood, might play a role in seasonal affective disorder. Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin that may trigger depression.
• Melatonin levels. The change in season can disrupt the balance of the natural hormone melatonin, which plays a role in sleep patterns and mood.

- taken from:    http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047

It's been a rough winter for several reasons. But today (going through my closet clearing out fall /winter clothes and organizing spring/summer clothes,) I realized I own WAY more warm weather clothes. Now for the most part I don't enjoy going shopping. But apparently I shop a lot more for clothes in the spring and summer months. 

Hooray spring is hear!!

Note: I'm sure in 3 months I'm going to be blogging about the heat I can't tolerate. LOL!

Interview with God

Christian's 13th Birthday Party!

 The cake!

The food!

The fun!

The song and presents!

Wordless Wednesday

Follow Jesus - Take comfort in his light

John 8:12
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

That verse is something that my children can learn now, tonight! The post below shows how I've taught Sam to face his fears by being brave and using light to see what is really there. Light shown on an object highlights what we could not see before. Jesus is that light for our lives! He shows us what we may not have seen before, and if we keep him close he will keep that light bright.

Note:
Those reading my blog, know that I may interpret scripture differently than you. I am not a pastor or priest who has committed their entire life to learning and interpreting scripture. Would take my word on how to perform a surgery? I am new on this journey. I have in the past asked my pastor to interpret things on my blog that I have posted, in order to not lead a person astray. But I can't ask him to read every blog post I feel the need to post. That being said, if anyone thinks that I am interpreting the word of God wrong. It is your job as a christian to help me along my journey. I am open minded, and will post your comments for everyone to see. Who knows you may shine your light on me.

Who's afraid of the dark?? Not Sam!

Soon Sam will no longer be afraid of the dark. We're playing a new game at night. A very important game because soon he will be sleeping in his own bed, just like his siblings.

Name that Scary, Creepy, Ghostly thing

Instructions: Lights are turned out to create a dark environment. Player #1 picks out an object in the room he believes is Scary, Creepy, or Ghostly. Player #2 then guesses what that object is. Lights are turned on to reveal what the object was.

Objective: Be the first player to correctly guess 3 times in a row what item(s) the other player points out as Scary, Creepy, or Ghostly in the dark.

Example:

Player #1 - Points out something scary in the dark room - "Over there in the corner, it looks like two scary eyes staring at me!" 

Player #2 - "I guess it is the spots on the dalmatian stuffed animal that I put over there earlier today."

Next player #1 has to be brave and go turn the lights on. Once the light come on it will reveal what the scary sight really was. Repeat with player #2 pointing out something scary with the light off and player #1 guessing. First player to get 3 in a row wins!

Lifehouse Everything Skit

Every so often I watch this video. Shows that Jesus is always fighting for me! 

Prom 1995

Nap Time Solution.. ABCmouse.com

Time and time again I have to come up with new solutions for getting Emmalyn down for a nap every day. Sam no longer naps, so I'm always trying to figure out ways to get Emmalyn down (which takes anywhere from 5 min to an hour) while keeping Sam occupied. Once again I needed a new plan. Hoping this one sticks!

Sam loves ABCmouse! In the past, he's always played in the mornings. But often we would need to remember, as mornings can easily go south. Hopefully, this new time will work out better!

10 signs your not getting enough sleep

#10)  Inability to Handle Stress.

Check! I've always though of myself as patient parent. And for the most part I am. But with days and days on end with very little sleep, my kids will tell you I tolerate very little.  The idea of going to the grocery store with kids in tow, seems like an impossible task. 

#9) Poor Memory.

Check! Forgetting my keys everywhere can't only be attributed to being an introvert who brain is constantly churning. No half the time it's just because I'm just too sleep deprived. Lost keys, forgetting diaper bag, missing appointments, did I brush my teeth? I've now started counting kids before I leave the grocery store. YES! No one's been left behind yet! 

#8) Inability to Concentrate. 

Check! You know how hard it's been to complete this post! I keep getting distracted by all the cute baby pictures I've been searching through! 

#7) Increased Appetite 

No check on this one. I think stress maybe keeping that one at bay! Gotta have a healthy balance right!? 

             Lack of Sleep

+ Stress 

                 = Healthy Appetite

#6) Vision Problems

Check! I swear I just saw this...

#5) Poor Decision-making

Check! I keep staying up at night after the little ones go to sleep to enjoy my grown-up alone time. Made that bad decision again last night! YAAAWN!

#4) Diminished Motor Skills. 

Check! I'm usually excellent at typing. This post is taking forever to pluck through! 

#3) Relationship troubles.

Hmmm. I think this one stems from research being done regarding the lack of sleep resulting in diminished sex drive. While that is being studied, it is a fact that children who keep Mom from being able to have alone time with Dad is what diminishes sex drive the most!

#2) Medical Problems

HA! Moms aren't allowed to get sick! This is how I felt when we all got the flu a few months back...

#1) Mood Swings

Check, check, CHECK! And I'm not only person in this house who isn't getting enough sleep. It's so fun around here! WHEEE!

I'm at the end of this post, and look over at my angelic daughter napping next to me. I feel a little bit...

Thank you WebMD for informing me on all the signs to look for. In my next life I should get my option of being a cat that sleeps all day, or an adorable sloth!

Wordless Wednesday

You'll sleep when your dead

Two kids go to bed early and rise at the crack of dawn, and the other two are responsible for getting themselves to bed. If bedtimes and early risers were my only enemies, I wouldn't be writing this in my sleep deprived state. I'm also the go to parent when it comes to middle of the night crises. 

"Mom I can't sleep"

"Mom I had a bad dream"

"Mom I'm about to, to, PUKE"

"WHAA BINKIE"

I've always been the midnight parent not because it's been decided. The kids just know Mom’s faster at shaking off the fog of sleep.

The sun always comes too soon! Coffee is my new best friend! And snuggles also help me wake. I just wish I could shake off those resentful feelings on the mornings that I've had another WORST NIGHT EVER!

Yes, last night was another rough night. I feel if I at least had balance of good nights and bad, I'd be more able to handle what life throws at me. Lately the nights have been teetering down.

Prayers are appreciated. Advice not so much, We'll figure get through this stage of life togehter. But if anyone throws out the saying "You'll sleep when you're dead." I'll punch them in the face then blame it on my psychotic sleep deprived state. Yeah, I'd never really do that but the image would flash before pacifist eyes. 

Hugs all around to mommies everywhere! We're all in this together, we'll get through this together! Then someday look back on these days with only happy memories. Just like giving birth!  LOL!