It's the most wonderful time of the year!

 

2020 = Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Dad is great he makes chocolate pancakes. It's a song mom sings when Dad makes me this for breakfast EVERY DAY! Everyone around me wants 2021 to come fast, but 2020 for me has been a great year for Dad and me! During lockdown Dad would take us for drives to get out of the house every night, I get to do school from home, and I've got the entire kitchen table for my toy horse arena! Mom is very busy doing mom stuff, so's dad. But dad always takes breaks to help mom out and clean! It's nice having everyone home until it's not. Every night I get upset because of something my older siblings said or left me out of. But Dad always ends my night with Uno and a prayer. 2020 was not a good year for a lot of people, but for me, it was a year of Dad and chocolate chip pancakes. 

 

Beautiful heart.

You didn’t make a mistake by loving them. You should never regret loving. You didn’t make a mistake by giving them a chance. That’s a reason of strength, not shame. You didn’t make a mistake by trusting them, believing them or being there for them. Do you know why? You actions reflect you. You would do this for anyone that comes your way. It just happened that those were not appreciative of your pure intentions. You didn’t make a mistake. The mistake was their choice to make by not respecting and appreciating your beautiful heart. ~– Najwa Zebian

Sing

One of my favorite bands. I love to watch his facial features as he belts out lyrics. I can feel and remember the emotions that come while singing. Although I always shyed away from solos I loved the feel of my voice projected, yet concealed by others. Projecting my feelings through song, having it flow from myself out into the world.

Brandalyn's 5th Kindle

I had to laugh when I saw that at the top of my new kindle.
THIS time, it won't get broken or lost ;)
There are 8,499 free kindle books on Amazon!
Take me away to another point of view.
I love to read!

My love affair

During the day I struggle to keep my head above water. A constant treading while I monologue inside my head. I pour it out at night, releasing it all to my beloved blank page. My love is not impatient and does not judge. Patiently awaiting the thoughts my mouth held tight.

Recently, I received a nomination for a blogging award on my anonymous blog. I feel very touched and honored that I've been nominated! Unfortunately, I haven't felt much like writing lately. Writer's block, perhaps. Or maybe it's simply because of the subject matter at hand. Each post I write takes a lot of insight and reflection, and I am praying for the courage and helpful insight to keep my blog going.

One Crazy Summer

Jonesing to what this again..

Gotta love that voice! 

the cute cartoon imagination 

I used to do my hair that way! 

No one plays a better romantic better than John and his crazed brain! 

And who doesn't like a movie where the under dog wins!

Watching - SOA

That true freedom requires sacrifice and pain. Most human beings only think they want freedom. In truth they yearn for the bondage of social order, rigid laws, materialism. The only freedom man really wants, is the freedom to become comfortable.

I could dream for a 1000 years

Refrigerator Art by Sam

Under the Bridge

A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his own image.

– Joan Didion

I cannot visualize my memories very well, but I do remember the feelings they invoked. The solitude and peace I felt under that bridge. The reprieve from my exhausting efforts to fit in. A place I shared only with true friends.

As a kid there aren't many places you can go to just be. However each time my life was turned upside down by a move, the first thing I'd do was find a place to call my own. Atop of a cinder block wall, an abandoned fort, atop of a parking garage, but my absolute favorite was under a bridge.

Retreating everyday to my spot, I'd climb the hill up to the top where there was just enough room for a small person like me to stand. I loved when there was a lull of cars atop, then suddenly you could hear and feel the thunder above. I used to think if there was an earthquake I'd be the first to go, but at that time I didn't care. I'd sit and wait for my friend to arrive, she knew where I'd be. It was cold and dim, a prefect place to sit and sulk a while. My mind free to wander and ponder life's deep meaning. Throwing a rock watching it tumble down the hill, I'd think of my space and time. Why I was there in that moment, what impact my self had on the world. Wakened from my somber solitude, I'd hear her bubbly presence, laughing as she'd run up the hill with confidence and style. We'd spend hours complaining and laughing about our day at different schools. More teens would sometimes show up to find out what mischief was in store. We were misfit toys, the after school breakfast club, there to add colorful injustice quotes marking the cement walls. We knew our place in the world, it was there under that bridge.




Carl von Clausewitz

Sporting new boots!

Thanks to my daughter's growth spurt (she went from a size 5 to 7.5) I am sporting her 6 month old boots! They're a little big, but maybe I'll grow into them LOL!

Sunny day at the zoo!

The biggies and  the littles enjoyed a sunny day at the zoo. Spring break is going by WAY to fast with not enough sun. 

Ham Bone Soup Yum!

Paired with cornbread. YUM!!

I simply remember my favorite things

When a dog bites, when a bee stings, when I'm feeling sad... I simply remember my favorite things

Books

I can't believe I've read over 130 books since I created my goodreads account in 2010. I usually go on a book binge and read 5-6 books in a row when life is slow. Then have to quit for a while when things get crazy busy (like right now).

Chocolate

Love, love, love Hershey's! Funny story- Back when I was a 911 dispatcher, when my fellow officers could tell over the radio that I was getting pissy, they'd bring me this treat to make amends.

Coffee

Christian bought me this mug while in Disneyland a year ago. It reminds me how he always thinks of others. When I dread getting out of bed in the morning, I remind myself that this cup is waiting for me.

Writing

I had forgotten how much I loved to write until recently. The purple journal has some of my creative writings that I started at the age of 10!

Photography / Scrapbooking

Love that I can capture memories to be remembered forever.

 Nikon D60 - 55 mm 

Necklace I made

Four baby birds in my nest!

Movies

Sound of Music, The Notebook, Shinning Through, Never Ending Story, Princess Bride, Dazed and Confused, Walk to Remember, Wanted, The Office, Heathers, Twilight, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Just Be, Zombie Land, Labyrinth,Christmas Story.. And many more!

I am my kid's mom

This life of mine is crazy and hectic. My children all have different personalities and temperaments. I've learned and continue to learn each of them as they individually are made. Accepting them for who they are and learning the best ways to help them reach their full potential...that is my job as their mom. To be the best mom I can be I also need to be my husbands wife. Showing our kids I love and respect their dad, the head of our household.

I have learned to follow my instincts as a mom. I know my children better than anyone else, no one has their interests at heart more than I. I have so much power as a mom, and I know I am not perfect. I've made many mistakes! Therefore I have learned to keep an open mind and question everything, even things I think are right...because I may be wrong!

Nothing could have prepared me for being a mom to these 4 kids. It's a role that is sometimes daunting, scary, and very tiring. But it is also exciting, fun, and very rewarding. I am so blessed to have God always watching out for me, and the Holy Spirit guiding me along.

Making new friends!

Being a SAHM can be very lonely. Especially when you want to have an adult conversation or see a "grown up" movie. But making friends and keeping them requires time, my precious, precious time.

They want to "hang out"!??

NO we can't! The baby has to NAP!!! HE HAS TO NAP!!!

Time was not something I felt I had (heck I didn't even think I had time for a shower). But duh, those friends would have LOVED to come over and snuggle my babies while I took a shower! I had four of them I could have shared. ;)

So the few friends I had made at school and work went on the back burner. A back burner I didn't even keep warm.
I am blessed with an amazing extended family. But that was my only circle, and when faced with difficult times I realized how different we all were. So the years of neglecting old friends and not making new ones caught up to me. I felt very alone during a time I needed support and love. Family will always put family first, but that doesn't exactly mean we're BFFs.
Since I started my journey of reconnecting with old friends and making myself more available to new ones, I've been lifted up and have lifted up others. What an amazing feeling, it feels good to be there for others! We all have our trials and joys that we want to share with our FRIENDS.

Dyslexia Shmlexia

I was told in high school that I may be dyslexic. "Great," I thought, "I've got one more year left of school and NOW you tell me this." I've always had a love of creative writing, but from then on I'd put off writing. The few times that I have put words down, I've been embarrassed by how horrible my writing turns out. I want people to read what I've written and be amused, touched, informed, ect. Not frustrated because they can't understand my sentences. 

But I've had so many things I've wanted to say since starting my blog in 2008. So I've decided to stop posting only pictures to persevere my memories, and start adding my thoughts to go with them. Also, to start my quest in become a better writer. 

Here is what I've learned about my writing difficulties. 

Within the field of psycholinguistics, speech errors fall under the category of language production. Types of speech errors include: exchange errors, perseveration, anticipation, shift, substitution, blends, additions, and deletions. The study of speech errors contributes to the establishment/refinement of models of speech production.

Speech errors are made on an occasional basis by all speakers.^[1] They occur more often when speakers are nervous, tired, anxious or intoxicated.  - Wikipedia

Of course there is also the Sigmund Freudian's theory (Freudian slip), where one subconscious inserts the wrong word.

"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex... uh... setbacks." -A Freudian slip by President George H.W. Bush

Back to my writing mistakes.. 

Deletion	Deletions or omissions leave some linguistic material out.[1]	Target: unanimity of opinion Error: unamity of opinion

Deletion is my biggest offender.

My best guess to why this occurs along with other writing mistakes, I believe is due to muscle memory. I learned to type very fast in my short career as a 911 dispatcher. In that position I was not afforded the time to proof read, luckily most words I typed were abv (abbreviated).

I can't say for others, but this explanation makes the most sense for me. Example:

I've had this affliction for a long time, possible due to the fact I type so fast and don't slow down to ensure the correct words are used.

"possible" versus "possibly" - They are spelled similar, thus easy to swap. 

The conclusion of my research.. I don't have dyslexia!

I just have to proofread, proofread, and proofread some more! And learn the basics of grammar and punctuation. Keep in mind readers, I went to 7 different schools! I missed a lot of instruction on the basics. Bare with me family, friends, fellow bloggers, my writing skills are improving. 

My new shirt!

Gotta love Facebook advertising. But I couldn't pass this one by! This shirt is so soft and snugly. Too bad I didn't order this in winter!

Frozen

Meet my favorite character Olaf. 

"Hi, I'm Olaf I like Warm Hugs"

"Some people are worth melting over."

"Love is putting someone else's needs before yours."

Sister love!

"The skys awake... so I'm awake...so we have to PLAY!"

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Was sad to see what happens when you're not being true to yourself

"Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know"

Queen Elsa learning to be herself in the song 

"Let it go"

"Time to see what can do. To test the limits and break through. No right, or wrong, no rules for me, I'm FREE!"

She's accepted herself, yet is alone. Next fear creates a winter storm.

Hope

""Oh, I don't know why but I always loved the idea of summer and sun and all things hot!"

Queen Elsa learned that love conquerors all. And that she didn't have to sacrifice her true self in order to be the person she was intended to be! 

How could you change your fears if you felt perfectly loved?