Spiders keeping Daddy up at night

Apparently it's too hot outside for the neighborhood spiders. Every night Dane gets woken up by the kids needing Daddy to take care of a friendly spider. I say "take care" because Maddy wants him to re-home the spiders outside and Christian wants them executed. 3 spiders kept Dane up last night. In the dead of sleep he was woken first by Maddy...

Whisper..."Daaad, Daaad." Poke, poke. Louder... "Dad!"
Not again, sigh. "What Maddy"
"There's a spider in the bathroom."
At this point Dane had just fallen asleep, it was about 2 am. Stumbling into the bathroom, he grabbed some tp.
"No.. don't kill it!"
"Then why did you wake me up?"
"Take him outside." She crouched down examining the little guy. "I think he's scared."
"How am I supposed to get him outside." The spider was about the size of a grain of rice.
"I don't know, can't you just put him in your hand."
"Maddy I'm either gonna squish it or I'm going back to bed" He grabbed his cowboy boot and pounded the little guy into the floor. "Problem solved, good night."

Half hour later

Christian comes out of his room. "Dad, dad!"
Seriously! "What?"
"There's a HUGE spider on my TV! Seriously I've never seen a spider this big!"
Opening his eyes trying to focus he sees Christian circling his fingers to the size of a baseball.
Well that's a spider worth killing. "Show me."
On Christian's TV was a spider about the size of a quarter. "Exaggerate much?" Dane grabbed one of Christian's shoes, missed it, spiders now scrambling on the floor to get away. "You son of a b****, get back here!"
Christian finds this very amusing, is hysterically laughing. "Get it!"
WACK, WACK, SQUIIISH! "Problem solved, good night."

But no, the big spider must have been a Mama spider. Christian found one more, this one smaller than Maddy's little friend in the bathroom. So small that Dane could barley focus his sleep deprived eyes on. How my kids can find all these little guys shows you how freaked out they are by these harmless friendly visitors. It was on the ceiling, Dane used his finger to dispatch the little guy. I'm sure it had siblings, so tonight will be another adventure.

post inspired by: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/spiders-are-scary-its-okay-to-be-afraid.html