Blast from the past!

 

Me, Nicole, Natalie, Mary, and De-De. 

Finding this gem today packs a lot of memories I buried. My entire outfit was one I hated but wore because Grandma bought it for me. I don't think I ever wore it to school. You see, every year my Grandma would buy my back-to-school clothes (something my family was always grateful for I assume because they didn't have the money to do so). This particular year I remember my Grandma asked me if I would like to live with her (my parents had recently gotten a divorce), she said all the great things about living in Utah like I would be able to attend another year in Jr. High before highschool (like that would change my mind). Anywho... my main goal when shopping was to fit in! Note: Utah clothes are VERY different than California clothes (California was usually a couple of years before the rest of the states in regards to fashion). When shopping I came across a Guess bag (Guess was a popular brand back in the day). I asked my Grandma to buy me the bag as I thought it would help me fit in. See in the picture that pink bag? That is not the Guess bag I asked for. Nope, that day Grandma decided to teach me a lesson. Instead of paying $20 for something name-brand, she taught me to make it myself. That pink bag was my first sewing lesson. I was upset, yet sucked it up. Being me was a hard thing to do growing up in a world that didn't understand or care to ask what I needed or wanted. However, I am grateful for the memories with my cousins and the lesson on how to sew.

Emma and Waylon

 

This little POA (small horse) has fallen in love with our Emma! They are doing great learning together each time they ride. He's only been at her lessons for about a month but has a lot of talent! The trainer calls Emma her prodigy! What higher compliment could you get!? 

OCD, no it isn’t about being a “neat freak”. #ocdrecovery

(istock photo)

I now often wonder if my parenting has directly impacted my son's diagnosis of OCD. Let me walk you back in time... When he was a little guy, he'd help me clean (cleaning is fun when you're a kid, LOL). For example, I'll use cleaning the bathroom. A place where he'll often get stuck while doing OCD compulsions. We'd clean the floor, my side would be spotless, his side well... "Good job, but let's get it just a little bit cleaner." Fast forward to years of perfectionism while in deep despair, he was diagnosed with severe OCD.
How does one get categorized with severe rather than run-of-the-mill OCD? I didn't know either! It's a point system in the DSM(the big book of what's mentally wrong w/ people). The more time spent on compulsions that disrupt your life, the higher you're categorized. My son would spend 3 or more HOURS stuck in that bathroom every night torturing himself! And if his compulsions got him stuck in the middle of the day, keep in mind we have ONE bathroom! But hey! We got to know our neighbors quite well LOL. Thinking back, I really should have used that time to drop seeds of Jesus in their living rooms while waiting for little Emma to pee. ;)
Today we're in a better place thanks to medication and a lot of weekly therapy. It didn't go so smoothly at first, as you can imagine. There were a lot of tears, both his and mine. I am also thankful for my amazing husband, who often had to take charge and Papa bear him to make it to those early therapy appointments. Imagine staying up all night with compulsions, only to have to turn around after just drifting off to sleep to attend a much HATED ERP (exposure and response therapy ((think torture and do nothing about it)).
I'll end this post on a funny note because the picture of our messy lives isn't always just doom and gloom. During one ERP session, the therapist took him into the neighborhood of a downtown city block. The goal was to touch as many germy gross objects and not wash hands for half the day. I know gross, but the chances of getting sick were low, and it was more important to get his life back than to worry about getting sick. Towards the end of the walk, she instructed him to touch a dumpster. As he reached out... OUT POPPED A HOMELESS DUDE! He didn't expect to get two exposures in one!!!

It’s like you have two brains – a rational brain and an irrational brain. And they’re constantly fighting.

– Emilie Ford 

Fat Cat Kahuna

 

See Chloe giving Kahuna a jump scare. Every time Kahuna would pull food out of the bag with his claws a few bits would fall on the floor to give Chloe a little treat! 

You will be missed Murphy!

Last night our beloved pet rabbit Murphy passed away. He was THE BEST, most chill rabbit ever!! R.I.P. our little cotton ball. See ya on the other side!