OCD, no it isn’t about being a “neat freak”. #ocdrecovery

(istock photo)

I now often wonder if my parenting has directly impacted my son's diagnosis of OCD. Let me walk you back in time... When he was a little guy, he'd help me clean (cleaning is fun when you're a kid, LOL). For example, I'll use cleaning the bathroom. A place where he'll often get stuck while doing OCD compulsions. We'd clean the floor, my side would be spotless, his side well... "Good job, but let's get it just a little bit cleaner." Fast forward to years of perfectionism while in deep despair, he was diagnosed with severe OCD.
How does one get categorized with severe rather than run-of-the-mill OCD? I didn't know either! It's a point system in the DSM(the big book of what's mentally wrong w/ people). The more time spent on compulsions that disrupt your life, the higher you're categorized. My son would spend 3 or more HOURS stuck in that bathroom every night torturing himself! And if his compulsions got him stuck in the middle of the day, keep in mind we have ONE bathroom! But hey! We got to know our neighbors quite well LOL. Thinking back, I really should have used that time to drop seeds of Jesus in their living rooms while waiting for little Emma to pee. ;)
Today we're in a better place thanks to medication and a lot of weekly therapy. It didn't go so smoothly at first, as you can imagine. There were a lot of tears, both his and mine. I am also thankful for my amazing husband, who often had to take charge and Papa bear him to make it to those early therapy appointments. Imagine staying up all night with compulsions, only to have to turn around after just drifting off to sleep to attend a much HATED ERP (exposure and response therapy ((think torture and do nothing about it)).
I'll end this post on a funny note because the picture of our messy lives isn't always just doom and gloom. During one ERP session, the therapist took him into the neighborhood of a downtown city block. The goal was to touch as many germy gross objects and not wash hands for half the day. I know gross, but the chances of getting sick were low, and it was more important to get his life back than to worry about getting sick. Towards the end of the walk, she instructed him to touch a dumpster. As he reached out... OUT POPPED A HOMELESS DUDE! He didn't expect to get two exposures in one!!!

It’s like you have two brains – a rational brain and an irrational brain. And they’re constantly fighting.

– Emilie Ford