What a glorious morning!

Waking up this morning I felt like I was in the twilight zone. ALL of my kids woke up on their own and were dressed before I moseyed my way downstairs.

Usually my mornings go a little something like this....

• Wake up to hair pulling by Emma.

• Make my way downstairs, Emma needs her juice and I need my COFFEE! After 20 minutes of letting the caffeine break my fog, I am brave enough to wake the slumbering bear (Sam). 

• This takes great finesse! I usually start w/ a back-rub, after I find him burred in the covers. Then I move on to tickling :)  The back-rub I know he loves so well turns in to a dare as I lightly tickle his sides.. "Handle it, handle it!" He tries his best not to laugh, but I usually win, and a full tickle war ensues. 

• Christian 99% of the time is dressed showered and checking his Instagram... But I digress, he loves school! 

• Next is usually my hardest endeavor..... getting Maddy out of bed. We've always called her our sunshine....but we may have to change that nickname during her teen years because she is not a morning person! Blankets will be pulled off, there is usually a pillow tug of war, and then of course the rolling in ball to stay warm. 

I know this morning was a fluke, and yes I asked Dane to pinch me, but I'll take it! For once I got to sit on the couch and watch morning cartoons w/ my kids without the worry of making it to school on time!

Shorty

I knew this day would come. But seriously, this soon?!!!  Christian 14 and now Maddy 12, surpassed me in height. Christian complains of growing pain every day and had a 2-inch growth spurt over the summer, putting him now at 5'2" and a half (the half he always points out). Thinking back, I don't think I ever had growing pains or growth spurts, just slow and steady to reach my full potential at 4'11 and a half (I too must point out the half LOL).

Tantrums!!!

(You'r already FIRED!!!)

This morning Sam fired me for bringing him the wrong size pants! Seriously??

"Oh Sam what was I thinking, how terribly thoughtless of me!" "I had no idea how sensitive you were to over-sized pants."

One minute he is a happy go lucky kid going on about the gravitational pull of other planets, and in spit second something goes wrong in his little world..... KAABOOOM!

Ceramics at the CTC

Back to shoveling snow in my snow storm!

My dream vacation is not Maui or Disneyland (although we are going in -9 days whoo-hoo). No, my dream vacation would be a third world country with a village in need of help. I would love to not only teach our kids the many blessing they have but also humble my own heart. To help others in need would fill a purpose in me that I feel I'm missing in life. I have done little things though out my adult life to help others in need, but always feel I fall flat. I'm either all in or I pull inward to a lazy selfish existence which ends up sucking me down into depression.

Lately I've been utterly depressed! Loathing my life and feeling exhausted. I have been shutting down. Neglecting Facebook (no one cares), no reading (my imagination suffers), no researching (my brain suffers), no blogging (my sanity suffers), no forward parenting (my 4 kids suffer).. nothing! Just pulling inward and shutting everything and everyone out. Those that have been truly depressed know what this feels like. To have no drive or incentive to pull your ass out of the abyss. What's the point right? I'm sick off feeling like I'm shoveling snow in a snow storm.

Today I feel like I took that vacation, abet it was a mini one. I helped (or at least I hope) dragged someone else out of the abyss. I saw what it looked like to give up and let the snow accumulate. Seeing all the damage it causes to give up, started a fire within me. I grabbed the shovel and made dents, and saw progresses. Taking on that endeavor, I feel myself seeing the light of day once again. I still wish I was not the way I am.. either all on or off. I need to find a happy medium! No I am not manic depressive, I just live in a world, time, situation that is not suited for who I am. Here I am making the best of it. Just need to keep swimming! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming... WHAT DO WE DO?.. SWIM, SWIM,SWIM!

(this pic makes me want a better vacation..swimming in Maui)