Meant for only one

Never again!

Say it loud, say it proud....I AM AN INTROVERT!!!

://themattwalshblog.com/2014/03/24/to-the-quiet-boring-girl-in-class/

Click the link above to understand my thoughts on this post. A post written by an introvert who learned to accept his shyness as a gift, not a curse.

That blog post I read last night highlighted what I already know about myself. But has also revealed to me how to feel better about myself as well. I need to stop trying to be someone I'm not! I need to own who I am in every sense. And live my life the way I know will make me happy.

For instance, I've always been anxious in certain social settings. Often I say or do things that I haven't put a lot of thought into, because I haven't taken the time to let my brain work through it. I have an amazing brain, one that is always churning with thoughts and ideas. Unfortunately, lately, I've been filling it with a lot of social nonsense, when instead I could be doing and thinking about things I love.

I love to read.

I love to write.

I love life art in photography.

I love to sing.

I love watching movies.

I love photography.

It's okay that I don't like the same things others do. I will use my brain to pour my heart into the things I love, and life will be more enjoyable. 

I'll pass this wisdom to my kids. I've always told my kids to be themselves but had not been modeling that. As my kids grow and find their own way in this world, I'll be there to advise them. Tell them that whether they are an introvert or an extrovert, they need to always be true to themselves. And also to respect everyone else for who they are too! 

As a child, I watched my mom (an introvert) always trying to please everyone around her, and I know the power of parents to influence who their children ultimately may become.

This journey through life will be a lot easier if I remember Jesus walking beside me. He made me in his image! He is perfect, I am not. The Bible and the Holy Spirit have spoken to me.

Mathew 4: 1-11

The great spirit led Jesus on a vision quest in the wilderness where he met the devil. After forty days and nights without food, Jesus was starving.

The devil said, “If you’re God’s child, turn these stones into bread.”

Jesus said, “Scripture says it takes more than bread to really live. To live takes doing what God says.”

Then the devil took him to Jerusalem, to the pinnacle of the temple, and said, “If you’re God’s child, jump. Scripture says God will send an angel to catch you before you hit the pavement.”

Jesus said, “Scripture says not to trifle God with your stupidity.”

Then the devil took him to the top of a mountain and showed him all the world’s empires, and said, “These are all yours if you sign on with me.”

Jesus said, “Get out of here, Satan. Scripture says the only thing worth doing is what God calls you to do.

At first, I thought this was just a verse to show the need to resist temptation. And it is! But in all sense of the word. The revelation I came away with, is I need to be true to myself. Jesus was not the next passing through pastor/priest (whatever those guys were back then). No, this verse said to me he had to stay true to himself and complete the task he came here to achieve. Dying for our sins and saving our souls. So I too will be true to myself! I feel this next chapter of my life will be more serene.

Funny side note.. now maybe all who know me will understand why I lose and miss place things all the time. I'm not just a busy mom! My head is just filled with too many other things to remember pesky little things like keys!

My path in life with Jesus by my side

This was the bible verse that was discussed at my first bible study. 

Psalms 1-41

1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 4 Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. 5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. 6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

I was at first I was confused by this verse. Jesus went out into the world to minister. He surrounded himself with sinners (prostitutes tax collectors,murders), to teach them God's word. Aren't we saposed to do the same? 

But then the conversation amongst us evolved. They interpreted the verse as such..  You must be rooted in the word, so not to be turned to the "DARK SIDE!" 

Reading the bible daily is now something I am making a priority! I've heard it takes 2 weeks to make something stick. I read the bible from time to time. But now I'm going make it happen every day for the next 2 weeks, and they hopefully for ever! 

Mornings with Emmalyn

My day starts with this little one twirling my hair around her tiny fingers. I open my eyes to darkness once again! Why does this child have to wake before the chickens? I wish I could say I welcome this and love waking up to my sweet Emma. But regret sets in that I stayed up late to savior some adult time! The hair twirling does not feel blissful. No, it hurts! 

I know from experience that there is no way I can get her back to sleep. Staying in bed will only result in more hair knots. With my other kids at this age, I felt more accomplished! I had taught them to appreciate the moment, fall back asleep, and keep their dreams alive! It's not working with this kid! So I take a deep breath because I've resigned...I HAVE TO GET UP!

Keep in mind the little one to my right is still fast asleep! Therefore, I "ninja" out of bed. I can only imagine how funny this must look. But trust me, he needs to stay asleep! Sam always needs more sleep...his mood depends on it.

Coffee is now my new best friend. I recently discovered how much impact it has on the start of my day. It gives me something to look forward to and makes that trip downstairs seem tolerable. "COFFEE MUST HAVE COFFEE!" I'm sure I must look like a zombie. Picture it...hair all knotted, no makeup, and I walk funny (my body contorted all night because I've been "sandwiched" between two growing kids).

So, coffee in hand and juice in Emma's, we head to the couch for snuggles and "Sponge-Bob." I love my alone time with my last little one! And with the hustle and bustle of busy life, it's nice to be still and enjoy her littleness. 

Yes, waking up sucks big time! But once the snuggles begin, I'm glad we're up. Later, Sam will venture downstairs and join us on the couch. I'll then have snuggles and hair twirling from both of my littles!

Now, if I could get them interested in Grey's Anatomy!

Blog to go private or not???

I know from my my stat page that not many people read this blog, I'm just not that exciting :) So I don't trouble my mind in worrying what the world sees. However, lately I realize that I not only post pictures and posts about me, I also occasionally include other family members and friends. So I went back and forth over if I should restrict my blog to only family and friends. My decision on this did not come lightly but as of now I'm leaving it public. I know of some that read my blog, however don't post comments because they don't have an account. These people who have said they really enjoy my blog would be restricted. However, if you are a apart of my life and do not wish to mentioned in postings let me know. Shoot me a quick email, and I'll respect that! Hope this makes everyone happy. I always try to be mindful of other peoples feelings and points of view!


*Sorry kids your hand won't be counted :) But I'll try not to embarrass you too much I always try to think of your feelings too!  Besides you guys never read mommy's blog anyways. Someday however you will and thank me!

I love blogging, it's a hobby along with scrap-booking that I don't get a chance to do very often. Blogging allows me to share my life and thoughts. Writing has always been a passion of mine! I decided long ago not to let my reading/writing disorder get in the way of my love for writing. It may take more effort, but if you love something as much as I love writing, you work through the difficult parts.