Celebration of life

 

This was hard day to get through as it was biter sweet. Hard to say goodbye but so thankful for all the memories that family and friends shared of my dad. I have learned so much more about him from others points of views. And as I sit here watching the littles play in the hotel pool, I see that he is in them! Like silly nature of Sam who like my dad liked to live in the future looking for the next adventure or the next BIG fish to catch. 

Fourth of July Cornhole!

 

It was so nice visiting with family, including those who traveled all the way from Idaho!

Sunbathing and a bath

 

They are like an old married couple! Now to get Kahuna some exercise!!!

Light at the end of the tunnel

Gradates in the year 2020 and 2021 faced many huddles the past year. Christian on the other hand took the past year in stride. Re-wind a bit .. School always came easy to him a straight A student.  First to memorize times tables in his class, homework done promptly after school, perfect scores, teachers praised. Christian was due to graduate last year class of 2020 with friends and soccer mates glued together. But that road flashed a road block.. OCD.  There was about a two year period where we as a family took detour after detour. There were many tearful days and nights where we had nothing to see the end of the tunnel yet and to hang on tight...God's light was there we just had to have faith! Like the amazing student his is, once we found the correct path, he diligently followed. The way he came to this accomplishment reminds me that the way we reach our goals, is not always the way we envision it to pass. Knowing that God's plan is perfect, gives me peace to know MY greatest gifts to this world are guided by Him. 

Goodbye for now. I love you dad!

I got that call, then dropped and folded into myself. It felt like someone was ripping a piece of my heart. I had to protect it, hold my heart inside my body. Ran outside and held onto a chair to keep me from falling to the ground. Then I looked up, pleading for it all to stop...I was not ready! My chest heaved violently, couldn't catch a breath. I felt as though my heart might rip in two. Why was I having such a crippling reaction to my dad's death? I never felt that close to him but that's what I realized, I wanted so much more with him! Always had that pull that needed him! I've had a rough 10 years with kids, marriage, and life in general. He was always so understanding and open to listening. Our relationship had evolved to an understanding that his divorce from my mom was never divorce from me. Of course, it took me having my own trials and tribulations to realize the relationship I could have with my dad depended a lot on me letting go of the past. I know I will see him again! No tears will fill my eyes, just joy, and peace. Until then, I'll keep all the good memories I had of him tucked close to my heart!