Thursday, October 2, 2014

Don't look back



The place I've come from haunts me
Taunts me with it's sunny path

My decision made I stumble forward
knowing it's the right path
rocky and treacherous as it may be

I no longer look for signs
instead I pray my intuition guides me
through thorns, boulders, and hopeless pits

A place promised to me
I know it's there, I feel it pulling
padding my falls, healing my wounds

This path was made just for I
to mold me to whom I'm yet to be
Strong, fearless, and patient

The past will always haunt me
But only I can let it hurt

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Swamp of Sadness



"Artax, you're sinking!" Oh God, make it stop! *


Life is hard not knowing which roads to look down, let alone traverse. Knowing God is with me helps, but it's hard to focus on the present like he asks when my mind trips me up. Staying focused when so many lives are dependent is difficult. Jumping from one obstacle to the other it's easy to trip fall and get stuck! Easy to let myself give up and fall into the mud (swamp of sadness *). But God keeps coming to rescue me over and over again! Thank you Father!

*Never Ending Story (aka... my life)

Monday, September 29, 2014

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

A day in the life - I am my kids' mom!

My days start before my alarm goes off.. my brain churning, spider-webbing, looking for solutions to about 10 different challenges that lay ahead.

Getting my 2 boys off to school, yes challenging, but nothing compared to what lays asleep upstairs in a tomb she calls a room.

My well rehearsed conversations I've had in my head begin to play out. I'm good at living in my head but practicality is my Achilles' heal.

After morning missions accomplished or not (depending on how well my mental theories and putting them into practices turns out in reality), I have a moment of reprieve from all this madness.

BREATHE, JUST BREATHE!

My afternoon comes too soon (50 minutes to be exact). I put to the test more of my brainstorming from my early rising. Most afternoons I spend the majority of my time in the car. But the conversations are epic! The gas worth every penny!

Once all my little birds are back in the nest, the chaos crescendos at the witching hours. That time when help is not home from work, and dinner is underway. That is the time when I most want to introvert! Yesterday was one of those days where I sat on the couch watching the insanity unfold all around me.

My 2 littles - One with a chair pulled up the fridge handing the other syrup for his concoction to trap ants swarming into the house through faded paint cracks.

Next the big kids fighting about something I'm sure is important.

While I sat on the couch watching the whole soap opera unravel eating bonbons.

That last sentence has just one lie... I don't care for bonbons.



Tonight if felt different. Got my butt off the couch, put out all the fires I let burn for a day, and bucked up!

Looking up at the pink clouds that blanket the neighborhood with a rose colored view. This change in reality made me think of this quote...