Light at the end of the tunnel

Gradates in the year 2020 and 2021 faced many huddles the past year. Christian on the other hand took the past year in stride. Re-wind a bit .. School always came easy to him a straight A student.  First to memorize times tables in his class, homework done promptly after school, perfect scores, teachers praised. Christian was due to graduate last year class of 2020 with friends and soccer mates glued together. But that road flashed a road block.. OCD.  There was about a two year period where we as a family took detour after detour. There were many tearful days and nights where we had nothing to see the end of the tunnel yet and to hang on tight...God's light was there we just had to have faith! Like the amazing student his is, once we found the correct path, he diligently followed. The way he came to this accomplishment reminds me that the way we reach our goals, is not always the way we envision it to pass. Knowing that God's plan is perfect, gives me peace to know MY greatest gifts to this world are guided by Him. 

Goodbye for now. I love you dad!

I got that call, then dropped and folded into myself. It felt like someone was ripping a piece of my heart. I had to protect it, hold my heart inside my body. Ran outside and held onto a chair to keep me from falling to the ground. Then I looked up, pleading for it all to stop...I was not ready! My chest heaved violently, couldn't catch a breath. I felt as though my heart might rip in two. Why was I having such a crippling reaction to my dad's death? I never felt that close to him but that's what I realized, I wanted so much more with him! Always had that pull that needed him! I've had a rough 10 years with kids, marriage, and life in general. He was always so understanding and open to listening. Our relationship had evolved to an understanding that his divorce from my mom was never divorce from me. Of course, it took me having my own trials and tribulations to realize the relationship I could have with my dad depended a lot on me letting go of the past. I know I will see him again! No tears will fill my eyes, just joy, and peace. Until then, I'll keep all the good memories I had of him tucked close to my heart! 

Teasing the dogs

 

Jenn's published works! So proud!!!

 

Jennifer Usselman uses raw honesty, humor, personal story and scripture to invite us on a journey to days lived with more love, joy, peace and the many gifts God offers us if we choose to sit with Him and learn the way to a better life, indeed the very best possible. Don't miss out. Let's lace up our walking shoes and put one foot and one choice in front of the other to a place called Better! An excerpt from Choosing to Choose Better: "I love choices. Don’t you? I choose chocolate instead of vanilla, smooth over prickly, salty over sweet—no, actually I choose both of those twisted together! Choices are wonderful and somewhat mindless when we’re talking about flavors or textures we prefer or styles of clothing and artwork. However, the choosing I would like to talk to you about is a kind that comes unnaturally. It is the intentional act of stopping before acting so you don’t inflict hurt on yourself or others.... Have you ever felt like me? Dried out and hollow? Like you’re ruining the life you have been given? I promise that if you trust God and His will for your life found in His Word, you will start to become new and transform in ways you cannot fathom. This is an invitation to all who feel deep down, or even at a surface level, that there is hope in real change and that if we want more connection, calm, and love in our lives it is indeed attainable, if only we choose to choose better. We are paused at the road’s fork. Are you ready to do the unnatural? Trust me: this will only hurt a little…"Don't put off living your best life even one more day, let's do this!

Emma School Pictures 2020-1021