Now what?!!

Once again at a dead end with the stakes rising. What now? Have been told to put it in God's hands, but what does that even mean for me? Advice coming from all sides, are blurring my insight. I am at a loss what to do and having no path planned is making me feel lost, and disheartened! I feel like my heart is becoming calloused, I'm losing myself.

Anywhere but here!

I had a different blog post I was writing.. it was very poignant, deep and epic....

But all I really feel right now at this moment is running far, far way! Just like someone else I know. To be anywhere but here! I'm right there with ya hon, but alas tomorrow is coming, the sun will rise on the same place we lay our heads tonight. We'll wake up clinging to the dreams we always wish to keep. Will tomorrow be the day you to roll over and wish to be somewhere else, or will you push on like I do? Determined to fight for a better view?

Single mom + benifits

Dane working his 9 to 5 job then pouring his heart into his business, ends up working 120+ hours a week. At times I feel like a single mom, putting her big girl panties on to do what needs to be done. I wish I could feel accomplished, but I often drop the ball! Four kids who depend on me can be exhausting! Even so, I can't sleep restfully at night. I am constantly plagued with guilt that I could be, should be doing so much more for my kids. I constantly complain to myself and retreat in my head, making it hard to focus on the things that need to be done. And the the balls drop!

you never know until you try!

Being weak/lazy.. it's an excuse
scared.. an excuse
too proud.. stupid excuse

I get it.. trying is hard! Out of your comfort zone.. eeek! But pride, that just leaves you to yourself in your own little, tiny box!

Happy New Year! 2016

Stayed up till midnight this year! Now it's time for bed after I figure out my resolution....